How to Deal With A Stalker

Well, every once in awhile, it happens. A guy gets so strung up on us he won't leave us alone and then becomes a stalker. And that's what I've been facing this month.
So I have some tips on the subject. And even though I'm addressing the girls, boys, this still applies to you too.

Number One: Tell Someone You Trust.

That's right tell someone. If you're like me, you don't like bringing people in on your problems. But you not only should tell someone it is critical that you tell someone. This not only takes some of the pressure off of you but it also protects you. The more people that know about your situation the more people you will have on your side and the more people can help you. A stalker can be passive or can be aggressive. Mine started out passive but became aggressive. The more people you have on your side the more people can be thee to help if things become extremely serious.

Number Two: Know Your Stalker

Get to know your stalker. You don't have to have a heart to heart, but at least know enough to protect yourself. Do they have a history of this kind of thing? Where do they live? I knew my guy from school. I knew he had a past of this kind of thing and I had an idea of what he was thinking.
Also, know how to identify his behavior. Is he being passive or aggressive? If he is being passive he may be showering you with affection you just don't want. He is being extremely annoying and possibly very creepy but he's not threatening you. If he is being aggressive he would be threatening you, following you, and harassing you. My guy started out as passive. He just talked to me alot and seemed actually a sad kind of sweet. He just wouldn't leave me alone. Then he started threatening to take his own life. And finally he started sexually harassing me. He became aggressive.

Number Three: Don't Take Everything At Face Value.

My stalker told me that if I did'nt date him he would kill himself. He even claimed to have attempted suicide on his Facebook. I believed him and for a while I was guilt ridden and scared. I blamed myself. As it turns out he lied to me. So, don't take everything as it seems. Don't believe that when they say they love you and they won't live without you. Chances are they are lying to play with your emotions.

Number Four: Get Rid Of Them

I made the mistake of keeping him around because I felt sorry for him. He played with my mind and my emotions and used my own nature against me. In the end I actually made me physically ill. I suffer from General Anxiety Disorder and because of that I have panic attacks. All the guilt and worry and fear I felt from the situation led me to have a bad attack. Don't let them do that! Don't let them make you feel as if you are responibile for their behavior. They are the ones making the choice to hurt you and themselves. The best thing to do is to sever all contact. For me that was hard because it is not in my nature to turn my back on someone in need and to me, the way the guy made himself seem, is that he was someone in desperate need. In truth he was not. After he became aggressive I blocked him on Facebook. If you have to block him off the network website, report him to your school or maybe even the police. However you can get rid of him. And don't contact him.

Number Five: Protect Yourself

I'm not saying go Rambo on their butt, but know how to keep yourself safe. I suggest you don't go off by yourself for awhile, stay with people. I was told that by several of my friends who experienced stalkers. Don't go anywhere alone. Sometimes you may have to get a restraining order. It varies for each state. Do some research and find one that is right for you. Some self defense lessons are not out of order either. I have a friend that has taken 6 years of martial arts and he has given me some tips to defend yourself. Also, keep away from places that they may be. Don't become a shut in though. Just if you know your stalker may be there stay away. Or at least as I said before don't go alone. If it is an in school stalker TELL THE SCHOOL! I had one guy a year ago (a different one, I seem to attract them) somewhat stalk me. The school found out and became involved and the guy never bothered me again. Tell the proper authorities and let them handle it.

Number Six: "Breathe the free air again, my friend." (Gandlaf, The Two Towers)

Once you have done all you can to protect yourself and get rid of this annoyance take a deep breath! Breathe! The worst is over now with all hope and stay. I know it is easier said than done, (remember I'm GAD) but relax and continue on with life. Life should not be lived in fear.

So, I hope this has helped some. It is an unsavory topic, but it is one all should know, whether you're going through it or not. And like I said this applies to guys and to girls too. Boys, if you have a similar problem take the same steps.
Well that's all folks!